Is if ever OK not to be honest?
I found it insightful to hear what students k-5 think about honesty as a virtue compared to teachers. Below are some highlights from both sides of the debate. I have color coded adult and student answers because I see a pattern... kids answers are in RED, adults in BLUE.... notice anything?
It is NEVER OK not to be honest:*2nd Grader: 1 lie can make all of your truths questionable.
*Kinder kid: It is NOT OK to not tell the truth because your parents will always find out anyway and you will get in trouble.
*5th Grader: No, even a little lie could keep going and turn big.
* 1st Grader: It is not OK to lie because no one will ever believe you again.
*Kinder teacher: A lie is like a snowball, it starts off small and then grows and gets so big it falls apart and then the truth is discovered.
*5th Grader: It is not OK to not be honest, you always have to say the truth.
*Kinder kid: Friends should always tell each other the truth.
*5th Grader: If you keep lying no one will believe you or trust you again. You will be miserable just talking to your pillow pet.
...7 students, 1 teacher
It IS OK not to be honest, sometimes:
*Sped Teacher: Honesty always needs to be paired with tact!
*GT teacher: Just have to know whether the person you're talking to can handle the truth/go from there.
Literacy Instructional coach: Knowledge is knowing what to say, wisdom is knowing whether or not to say it. Honesty is not always the best policy.
* 3rd Grader: It's OK not to be honest only when you're throwing a surprise party for someone and you have to lie to keep it a secret.
* Math Instructional coach: Is it helpful or hurtful? Does it build people up or tear them down?
*Literacy Instructional Coach: Must we consider little white lies of protection for others?
...1 student, 5 teachers
Obviously there were a lot more responses from this morning's chat but look at the pattern...
adults mostly agree that omission of honesty IS OK at times.
Kids mostly agree that honesty is ALWAYS required.
My take away question is this: When does the innocence of a child seeing this virtue as black/white... right/wrong to become situational?
Is this a you live, you learn type of thing?
I say there is something to be gained here about the innocence of a child.